The Londoner identified as "Jihadi John" told a journalist in 2010 that harassment by British security services had made him fear he was a "dead man walking", it has been revealed.
Years before his reign of terror in Islamic State videos began, Mohammed Emwazi emailed a reporter to claim that several run-ins with intelligence officials had left him contemplating suicide.
The 26-year-old described coming face-to-face with someone who he suspected was a British spy - months after he graduated from the University of Westminster.
Emwazi was attempting to sell a laptop when he became suspicious of the mystery buyer, according to messages he sent to a Mail on Sunday reporter.
He wrote: "Sometimes I feel like a dead man walking, not fearing they (MI5) may kill me.
"Rather, fearing that one day, I'll take as many pills as I can so that I will sleep for ever! I just want to get away from these people!"
The correspondence was released on Saturday night - hours after a tranche of messages between Emwazi and a campaign group emerged.
He began emailing the CAGE organisation after he was questioned by counter-terrorism officers while attempting to fly from Heathrow to his native Kuwait in 2010 - and claimed the security services were "stopping him from living his new life" abroad, where he had secured a job and was getting married.
In one message, the graduate wrote: "I feel like a prisoner, only not in a cage, (but) in London. A person imprisoned and controlled by security service men."
Emwazi appears vulnerable in several of his emails, and asks for advice in complaining to his MP and the Independent Police Complaints Commission about the treatment he had received.
After being told by British officials that he would not be allowed to move to Kuwait, he told CAGE: "I'm not going to give up!! I'm going to wait for my Dad to come back so that we can visit the Kuwaiti embassy in London… going to the embassy myself won't be successful."
The last email that Emwazi sent to CAGE in January 2012 showed no indication of the violent acts of terror he would soon be involved in - and had the subject title: "Smile, it's me again?! Sorry for the headaches I cause…"
When Emwazi was first unmasked as "Jihadi John" earlier this week, representatives from CAGE described him as "extremely kind and gentle" and "the most humble young person we ever knew".
He is believed to be involved in the cold-blooded murders of at least five Western aid workers and journalists who were taken hostage by Islamic State in Syria. They include two Britons: Alan Henning and David Haines.
The University of Westminster has been accused of allowing a toxic environment of radical Islam within the institution, a charge it vehemently denies. Emwazi earned a computer programming degree at one of its campuses.
Meanwhile, the high school where the militant studied, Quintin Kynaston Academy, is being investigated by the Department for Education - after a Sunday Telegraph report claimed that two other pupils from the north London school had been killed fighting for al Qaeda and al Shabaab.
A Government spokeswoman added: "The allegations about Quintin Kynaston may be historic - and it is clearly a completely different school today - but I'm sure we will look back at evidence from the time as part of this review to see if there are any lessons we can learn for the future."
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